Hey wonderful ladies,

So I'm about 10.5 weeks pregnant with my high school sweetheart. We broke up for a few years after high school, he went down an unhealthy path using drugs and committing crime. We tried to get back together a few years ago however he couldn't stay clean after getting out of jail. We reconnected earlier this year while he was in jail then when he was released he came to live with me. He has been on a drug program, working hard to provide and moved away from almost all of the unhealthy people and that environment.

A few weeks ago we found out that there was a warrant out for him because of an old charge from about a year ago. He went to turn himself in on Wednesday. I hadn't heard from him since so I was under the impression he was back in the system but couldn't contact me. Today I woke up to learn his wallet was found on a beach in our city, this seemed rather strange so I did some searching. Long story short he's not back in the system but he's definitely using again. Things seemed like they were going good with him, we were excited about having a child together and planned to marry at the end of summer.

Right now I'm going through so many emotions. I'm a smart person who knows that his addiction isn't healthy for me. I don't know what to do about the baby? It's my first pregnancy.

On the one hand I'm capable of raising this hold alone. I can financially provide and have a post secondary education. I also have lots of family who are willing to help. I was offered my ideal job in the fall too. There are so many factors to consider in my decision making process.

Any words of support, advice or encouragement would be so very much appreciated.

I also found out we conceived right around the date that my exbf died of an overdose. I like to think this was his gift to me when he left this world.