So I went abroad back in December. I live in Europe and the country I went it's just two hours by flight. I meet this guy at the university I want to attend probably next year. I had a 12 hours stay at this country, my departure time was late at night. So we met that day, spent the whole day together, he was really really kind and helped me a lot at the university since he studies there too. And we both study on the same field. So we got along pretty well until the hours left one by one... strangely we started to feel connected with each other. I can't explain why. We both agreed that is amazing how you can feel like this with a person you only spend a half day. Then we shared a kiss. The most incredible one I had with this though in my mind if I am ever gonna see him again. Then I left and the last sentence he said was : "I think now you are an important part of my life"

We continued to speak for the next couple of months and the conversations were very cute actually with us...both shy and leaving tracks that we like each other. And for school purposes I had to go again abroad. This time I stayed two days. The weirdest two days.

During those days we laughed, we argued a bit, we were finally in front of each other and we got so scared, so scared that we started to avoid our 'romantic' links. We kissed again, we slept on the same bed doing nothing but hugging all night long. And then in the morning we went back on avoiding our looks. Then he said to me that he is a coward. That he pushes people away like that. We made it pretty clear that we like each other but that's it.

He is shy and even when he tries to says I like u or i miss u, he gets this blush on his cheeks. He tries to hard to look like he just don't care about the whole situation.

Then he accompanied me to the bus and was very nervous during those minutes.Nervous and angry he said with himself. I was so numb and said to my self like never mind him...like let the situation go.

And I hugged him and I said pretty clearly that I will miss him. He finally made eye contact with me, blushed and said that he will miss me too. He was shaking while trying to smoke his cigarette.

I went on the bus kinda empty although I didn't have expectations. Then suddenly I saw outside of my window...never seen such a ruined face in my whole life. He started to cry. His face was showing so much pain and I was there, suprised...

Then the bus left, he gave me one last look and that's all.

It's been like three months since that day. We didn't talked like we used to. Small small talk. I was angry with him, angry that he, the person who doesn't care, hugs me all night long, cries and then does nothing.

Suddenly, a couple of days ago he wrote to me, asked how I was etc...and out of blue said 'i miss u'

Remembering how hard is it for him to say that I was suprised again. I said i miss him too and then we went back to our silence.

We communicate with our silence, leaving small tracks like once a month. I might go in autumn and since we don't communicate normally I don't know what to do or what to think about this confusing situation.

It's like we know what we might feel, we know that we are apart but we don't want to lose this connection in the same time.

Can you feel like that for a person you spent just a little time? Can I? Can he? Sounds like a movie but it's not and I am here stuck. I try to get him out of my mind and then there are those little tracks we say that keeps "the flame" alive.

I find it hard to understand myself and what is this that i'm feeling, i can't name it. And definitely I find it hard to explain his actions and understand him.

...