"All kids are liars and sneaks. It's our job to find out what they're up to and put a stop to it." Do you agree?

Question

This is a quote (not verbatim) from the Showtime series "Weeds", about a suburban mother who begins selling marijuana to keep up with her lifestyle and support her family after her husband dies. In the first episode of the show, another mother says this after finding out that her teenage daughter is planning on having sex with her boyfriend, the main character's oldest son. She reveals that she found this out by reading her daughter's diary. This got me thinking.
My question(s) for you ladies today are:
1) Do you agree with this statement, and why or why not?
2) Do you think it is your duty as parents to stop your kids (in this I refer to adolescents between the ages of 12 and 18) from doing things you don't agree with?
3) Do you think parents have a right to snoop through their teenager's personal tings to find out intimate details of their lives?
I'd love to hear all your thoughts!
P.S., this show brings up a lot of good topics, so if any of you lovely ladies are looking for a new series to binge, I recommend "Weeds"! It's on Netflix.

Accepted Answer

I never lied or snuck around my mum.

I don't think it's their duty to stop, but to educate. Mum told me all the mistakes she made as a teenager and hoped that'd help deter me from making bad decisions, but she also said I have to make my own mistakes to learn from.

I think if you want your child to have any level of respect for you, you don't snoop. That's childish.

Answer

Yeah no. Sure I didn't and don't tell my parents every tiny detail about my life. But I never snuck around or lied to them. I was a good kid on my own. As we're my brothers. Sure all of us messed up from time to time, but we certainly weren't liars and sneaks. I know some kids that are, but I also know many people and kids that weren't and aren't that way at all. My parents never snooped- they respected us and our privacy. We respected them for that. They trusted us too. The parents that go all out and snoop and distract their kids, in my experience, have terrible relationships with their children and not because they had bad kids, but because their kids never felt respected. I mean if you think your kid is automatically a liar and a sneak well then your horrible opinion of them will show and they won't like the vibes they get from you. They'll feel like you think they're horrible (which you do) and that's not healthy for a child. They'll resent you for it and some kids will likely become those bad kids because that's what they'll start believing they are.

Answer

1.) no. lots of kids are actually just good kids. it's not uncommon to find a kid who doesn't drink, do drugs, hook up with everything that moves (and basically every other "bad kid" stereotype). you're reading a comment of a kid who did none of those things. so no, i don't agree. 
2.) yes, i do think it's your duty as parents to protect your kid as you see fit. unfortunately, some parents abuse that power. but for me, i will do everything in my power to make sure my kids won't get into any trouble or endanger themselves. 
3.) depends. i think they have a right if their child has shown signs of problems they are hiding from you. like if i suspect my child might be suicidal and they have a diary, you better believe i will be going through it to either confirm or deny my suspicions to make sure they get the help they might need. doing drugs or drinking, i might. it depends in the moment i suppose. but for me personally, it'd have to involve dangerous behavior for me to even think about snooping. 
hope these answered your questions!

Answer

I don't. Not all teens are like that. I certainly don't sneak around. I'm more versed in my mom about sexual education and health. I think parents should EDUCATE. Treating teens like prisoners is not going to make them respect you. It's going to make them rebel. Treating them like young adults and giving them freedom until they show they can't have it? Perfectly fine.
Some of us teenagers are actually.... really good people 😂
Not me. I'm a little bitch. But. I mean. Some are 😂

Answer

It sounds like this mother did that stuff when she was growing up, so she assumes all kids do it.

Answer

If it's under my roof, I can do whatever I want with it. So, if I ever feel so inclined, I'll go through my kids stuff if I want to. I plan on raising my kids just like my parents did for me and my sisters, and we never snuck out our did anything we weren't supposed to (like drinking underage, smoking, partying, etc.). As kids we didn't always think it was fair that other kids could do things we weren't allowed to, but now that I'm older and have kids of my own, I totally understand.

Answer

Depends on the kid. My daughter no. My son yes. He has broken trust so many times i pretty much search his room whenever i find it necessary.

Answer

1. No - Kids only lie and sneak when a parent makes them feel as if they can't come to them or trust them. I always lied to my father, but so did my mother for me, because he was unreasonable. I always told my mother the truth.

2. No - My mother always believed it was her duty to EDUCATE. And that proper education would lead us to informed decisions. She might not agree with our decision, but it was ours to make, ours to fail and learn. Our responsibility. And I respected her for that, always.

3. Honestly, I don't see much of a big deal with snooping. As long as you don't bring it up ever. A mom can snoop and find out a lot, but that doesn't mean she's going to confront the child. My mom snoops all the time, even opened our mail (college acceptance letters bc she was too impatient to wait until we got home to know if we got in) just because she was nosy and admitted she was nosy. She didn't actually care for what she found, but she also never found anything bad and never expected to.

Answer

No not unless my kid is doing drugs or something of that matter I am not trying to control everything they do in life pass the age of 13 there is a thin line between parenting and controlling I don't plan to cross it as long as I know what they are doing

Answer

My mom always snooped on me even though I was a friggin angel.  I never partied or anything.
To this day I have a weird resentment for it.
For example.  I'm now 33, married, kid on the way, good job, house, etc.  when she comes over to the house I always feel as though she is snooping or inspecting.
I will tell her, hey use the bathroom on the main fooor I haven't cleaned the basement.  She will literally just ignore me and walk around the basement. It annoys me to the point where we have had tonbasically lay out the rules.  I don't have anything to hide but since I never had privacy growing up I'm very sensitive to keeping her at a distance

"All kids are liars and sneaks. It's our job to find out what they're up to and put a stop to it." Do you agree?

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