Birth Order

I'm the middle child in my family and the only daughter. I always feel depressed and left out being the middle child. I love my family and they love me back. But there are so many moments that I get compared to my siblings for not being as smart or as thoughtful as them. Of course I know that I'm not the smartest kid, but when i get awards they mean a lot to me. But what's the point of getting an award when your parents don't even show up to the ceremony. And I can't even ask why they didn't show up because then they'll get mad at me saying I'm selfish and I don't even think about my brothers. Maybe I am selfish, but is it that bad to ask for some attention once in a while?