Need advice please!

Ok so no judgement or anything please but for the past month I've been talking to my ex and we don't plan on getting back together (cuz he already has another girl) and the relationship was toxic. Anyways we both have come to the conclusion that we still have love for each other/care and we still have a connection. We call each other friends but hook up so yeah it's a messy situation.

Anyways, I've been thinking lately that I've grown so dependent on him for happiness and that I should just leave him alone but I'm so lost and confused. (Btw we were together for 4 years) I took our breakup very hard, it changed my whole life and outlook on life and I'm just now Starting to get Back On my feet after 2 and a half months of being broken up. :( I just need some advice on what to do and how to handle this or maybe one of you ladies have been thru something Linda like me? ... thanks in advance