I'm still so all over the place and wondering how normal this is. The smallest thing can send me into tears but I also laugh and smile a lot more than the first few months.

I saw a mama robin and her little chick bouncing across my backyard the other day and idky I nearly lost it 😢 and a friend of mine from high school (who I haven't been close to in almost 10 years) lost her mother last week and I keep turning it over in my mind 😭 I only have one strong memory of her mom but she was a unique and exuberant woman and she LOVED her daughter so much. My heart is just breaking for her loss and I'm not sure how to get closure since I didn't know her all that well and I live far away now so I wouldn't be able to attend the services even if I wanted to. She was probably the biggest Joan Jett fan in the world, she's even in the music video for "I hate myself for loving you" front row center singing every word. It's tempting to listen to a bunch of Joan Jett music but it's not exactly easy.

Idk, I got my period back around 3 months pp and the pms is so much more intense than it used to be. Planning on talking to the dr about it at my next appt but even in the middle of a cycle my emotions are just difficult to control and I never used to be like this. I want to get back to normal already! 😫 how much longer is it gonna take?!