Am I expecting too much??

Sorry for the long post! But I need some advice

My husband and I are newlyweds and we have always had the same fights...

I feel like he doesn't want to help me out unless it's something he wants to do..

Don't get me wrong when I'm sick he's there for me and really supportive but when it comes to helping me around the house or if I ask if he can help me with my computer (I'm terrible with technology) it's like he can't be bothered.

He admits he's lazy but when we talk about it he always finds an excuse or a way to put it back on me.... ect we got a new lawn mower for our wedding present 4 months ago and our lawn still hasn't been mowed my dad has asked if he can do it for me and I said no don't and he always finds a reason to why he couldn't do it and last night said well u didn't do anything extra around the house last week.. I have endometriosis and cysts on my ovaries and been really unwell lately by that never stops me from doing thing we need to do food shopping working full time late nights and weekends and I just went and mowed it today because what's the point in fighting over it.

I needed a cord for my computer which is a business one so I could use my till we both went together to the shops but it was really pricey so he told me we could get it online cheaper, I said ok can u get it and I'll put my card in our I'll pay u back.. 10 months of asking and I ended up at the shops getting what I thought I needed but turns out it's the wrong cord so a waste of money and he tells me well that's your fault you got the wrong thing when it's hurtful he couldn't just help me out and get it online for me.

I always think about him and put him first and I don't feel he does the same unless he wants to do it.

He has been seeing a psychologist which has been helping until the other night when he went off because I was upset about how I still feel he doesn't want to help me out.. btw I owned my house before we met I have equality in it and I pay all the bills and he gives me half of most of it but we don't have joint accounts.. I work for myself and he is an engineer so he gets a lot more pay then I do.

He got angry coz I said I dont think your changing and he said don't say that to someone who is trying to change and told me he didn't want to come home to this and we shouldn't be together because this is toxic.. I'm so angry and disappointed in him I feel I have tried so much with him and for him to throw our marriage at me and say he doesn't want to come home to this I feel like I'm going crazy because I'm the one unhappy and hurt.

Everyone tells me that's just men they need to be told to do stuff and they get defensive and don't get it.

Is that really just want it's like and how do you handle it and not get upset, I have tried to do less for him so I don't get upset if he doesn't do for me but unfortunately I just can't do it I automatically think of others before myself and I really need someone to think about me because I feel like I'm past breaking point.