Dear Mom,

Why are you so fascinated with my mans dick? Yes I know we have a huge age gap but his dick works fine. No it's not wrinkled up and shriveled up like you seem to think. His dick works perfectly. He has and maintains a huge erection and has no issue using it. I do not need, as you put it, a new young hard dick. Frankly, I find your fascination with that a little disturbing. Please do not worry about it. I am happy and in love and perfectly satisfied. I do not want another man. I know you don't like him, but I love him and I'm not leaving him.

Dear Coworkers,

Y'all, my man is my man. Don't worry about the age gap. I hear the jokes, I see the looks y'all give me when he comes in to take me to lunch every so often. To answer your questions, my husband does NOT need Viagra, Cialis or any other erection medication to have sex with me. If you're really that interested, all I have to do is touch it and boom he's hard, but that's now any of your business now is it? Also, no, I do NOT want your big black dick that you so vulgarly offered me this morning. I want my husband and his big white dick! I don't care if you think yours is prettier (has anyone ever seen a pretty penis?) or you think you can use it better. You will never know what my man means to me. I will not cheat on him with any of you. We are husband and wife. We are one. Stop making these advances toward me.