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I totally get where you're coming from. I have a 7yo stepdaughter and it's basically the same. Mom is pretty checked out so SD watched movies or plays on her iPad all day. When she's with us my husband requires that she do math before she has iPad time and even then her time is limited. She complains a lot about being bored but he just encourages her to find herself something to do. He made her a list of easy options and hung it on the wall. She is not a bad kid by any means but she lives in two very different households. I can't imagine it's easy for the kids to switch back and forth but eventually they will figure out that you mean your boundaries. Some of it is probably also the age? I suggest having your husband do most of the boundary setting. It's too easy for the stepmom to be seen as evil or create resentment. We think it's best for the bio-parent to do the parenting and it's worked for us. I don't think you sound like a mean stepmom at all :) Hang in there this summer!
Stepchildren
Hey y'all! This is the first time we have had a new custody arrangement, so we get the kids for the second half of the summer.
My stepkids are CONSTANTLY entertained at their mothers house. She gives them everything their little hearts desire and parenting them is so difficult. Mom tends to give in to not hear them complain. Me and my husband try to set boundaries and limits...which only causes more arguments and upset kids. *sigh*
Today, their mother got married to the man she cheated on my husband with while he was deployed (AWHHHHH 🙄😤). Today has been pretty glorious without them to be honest. It's just me, my husband and my son. It's so quiet. They are always asking to do something. And then when we tell them like "we are going to go swim." Instead of saying "Cool! Thanks!" They say, "then what are we going to do?" They always have to be entertained and I'm GOING CRAZY. I let them be bored but they literally act like I cut their hearts out and I'm so mean for not taking them swimming.
This is how much they expect to get what they want.
Yesterday my stepson said "Can we go to Red Lobster for dinner?" And I said..."No, we are having bean burritos for dinner." And he said, "I want shrimp." And I said "I'm sorry, but we aren't going there tonight," and he said "When we go there tonight, can I get shrimp?" "dude! We aren't going there today."
So a few hours later I call them for dinner and my stepson pouts and said, "Ugh! I thought we were going to Red Lobster!" WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT IDEA!
It's like that with everything. They say they want something. We say no and they still expect to get it.
They used to never be this bad. They've always been very entitled but recently (having spent more time with their mother) they are spoiled rotten.
"Can I do/have this?"
"No, not right now."
"Ugh. Whyyyy? Pleasseeeee? Please? Please?"
Then they ask again over and over again.
I said no to swimming he other day (it was ABOUT TO STORM) and my stepson was like"come on....come on. Just let me swim" like you're 7, stop it.
Im exhausted. We get them back in 4 hours and I'm just kind of dreading it. They're so much.
Y'all are gonna think I'm mean. lol I love them to death. It after being with their mom so much they are more than a handful.
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Ch
Agree with PP. Also, my kid is like that even though I have limits and he lives only with me. He's just extremely easily bored. Probably ADD, if I wanted to get a diagnosis. It sucks, but I've gotten better at not letting it get to me. I he's bored and whiney, that's his problem, not mine.
An
Thank you so much! Encouraging to know I'm not alone lol
I am in the exact same situation and I think its normal to feel that way. I kind of feel trapped because I can’t do my own thing or even have a conversation with my SO when the kids are around. SD just starts screaming for her dad as soon as he so much as acknowledges me. I can’t just sit their and read a book because I have to be giving her attention at all times. I know they are going through something tough but I can’t help but think the behaviour is only being enabled. I wonder where there are some good resources on how to deal with it properly.
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