Goodbye jealousy... hello joy❤️

After a long time TTC and recently finding out that that I may have to get one of my Fallopian tubes removed, I have finally reached the stage where I am no longer jealous of those around me having babies... in fact I have gotten to the point where I can have true happiness and joy for their beautiful baby!

It has taken me a while, struggling with that inner voice saying "be happy for them!", only to be overcome with the guilty feeling of jealousy that I do not have a baby of my own. But just recently, my best friend of 15 years just had a newborn and the fear of jealousy rearing its ugly head scared me.

None the less, I went, saw that precious baby boy, loved him with all of my heart, and decided to keep a healthy distance after.

Now I know it sounds mean, but in this time, honesty, kindness to yourself and others, is so crucial for your well being... so I tried something different...

After seeing that baby boy, and a few check ins with my best friend.. I finally told her that I am so sorry for not being there every day, or every week.. but I love him with all of my heart and never want to be jealous of her gift.. I told her I was struggling, and that I needed to keep a distance because it's the only way I can keep my sanity and feel pure joy was to just stay away a little.

Saying that out loud, and having her full support made me have some sort of awakening. I am no longer jealous of peoples BFP's, I am no longer in self pity.. my husband and I are on our own journey to making our family larger and that is okay. I have an amazing husband, beautiful friends, and one way or another, I will have a child in my life. My story is just different than others, no better, no worse, it just is. So let's spread the love for all of those beautiful mommas out there.. the ones who wanted a child, the ones who didn't.. that is their journey, and ours is ours.

Let's spread the love, and sprinkle the baby dust ❤️