I don't know why I can't stop thinking about you sometimes, but I wish I could. I don't want the bad blood anymore. I'm so tired of being angry.

You were so damn sweet when we first met. I never knew a girl from Tinder could have been a potential girlfriend, until my feelings complicated things.

I will always think of you whenever that one Hippie Sabotage song plays in my car, whenever I see a bag of my favorite naan chips we shared on our picnic date, and whenever anything that has to do with France or the French culture is mentioned. Whenever I see orchids, I remember the time when I bought you a bouquet of them because they were your favorite. I wanted you to be mine at one point. But now, you're gone.

You've made it impossible for me to forget such a vibrant, beautiful girl. You'll always have a place in my heart.

But you never understood me. You thought it was easy for me to come out of the closet and expect my entire family to accept me just like yours had accepted you. You made everything about you. You constantly one upped me. You didn't understand that it was all new to me. You drove an hour to where I was just to ignore me the whole time we hung out just as friends.

But does that mean I was able to just forget about you? No. I don't think I ever will.

I don't want to think about you anymore.

But we don't always get what we want.

I hope you're doing well, I hope you find a girl who can make you happier than I ever did. I hope you spoil her with roses and candy and bath bombs like you did with me. I hope the bad blood between us ends one day.

UPDATE: I wrote all of this down and mailed it to her. I'm not expecting a response, but the closure will be good for us. Hopefully she reads it.