3 months pregnant I may leave.

So. Number of reasons why. Don't know why I'm going to list them, the more I think of them the more I realise how stupid I've been staying.

Literally two days before we found out I was pregnant he said "if you're pregnant I'll have to stay with you". He then said it was a bad joke.

Rewind a week and a half before this and he said "I think I'm too sensitive for you, I can't deal with you're up and down mood and the fact you swear" (now understands I was like this due to the fact I'm pregnant) we were going to break up and was speaking about where either of us would go. Also I've said to him I don't know what it is but when I swear I don't think it's a problem however when I hear other people swear I think it is? Maybe this is due to music and the fact I used to sing the explicit versions of things? I don't know? Anyways...

Said to me "your going to have a sad and depressed baby because you're always sad and depressed"...I haven't been the happiest of bunnies, what with family treating me like crap and the fact I've been suffering sickness from the pregnancy, not knowing what to eat, eating and then throwing it back up, working 10 hour night shifts four days in a trot. (No family knows I'm pregnant just to add that in don't know why I'm mentioning it). I no longer work night shifts yay! Still adjusting to a night sleeping pattern though.

So he keeps sneezing in the air, I mean like not putting a tissue to his face or even covering it with his arm, like literally he will sneeze and not even put his face down he will just sneeze and it will go everywhere, this really started to do my head in, I've spoken about it like three times before, I stupidly said "if you're going to sneeze like that around the baby I won't have it around you", to which his reply was "f*ck you and f*ck your baby". He's said this before about something else but I can't remember what it was now.

I had my first midwife appointment and I said "you don't need to be there if you don't want to be" he sat in the car for an hour. He hasn't read any of my babypack I got. Oh and we was late for it because he stopped off and brought himself a kebab. Ok we stopped off before this and I got wedges, however we would have been on time if we continued the journey, I'd eaten wedges the day before and this was the thing baby wanted today. He could have dropped me off then went to get his kebab.

Keeps trying to force what the baby is going to be called onto me. Telling me "my parents won't like the ones you want" to which I replied "it's not their baby" and he said "yeah it is, I'm their baby and it's my baby so it's theirs aswell". He likes the names I've chosen though?

I'm a fool for staying this long he wasn't honest at the start of our relationship and he's told me about previous times he's lied to exes.

I'm afraid to leave in case it causes me too much stress and I have a miscarriage.

I wake up in the morning and I get "pass me my phone".

He's trying to make me not work and get a house off the council and say I'm single. I don't want to do that. I want to continue to work and provide for my child for as long as I can!

I've only told one friend and the poor thing gets all these moany messages from me I can't help but moan. I know others may have it worse than me.

I keep saying to my friend I'm going to leave him. I possibly have a place to stay however they don't accept DSS which I would have to be on as I don't have a job in that area. (We looked at this place to stay together, I keep meaning to contact them however I guess I'm worried in case they say it's been taken). I have enough money to last me a couple of months out of work if I do move there though, whilst I look for work. I'm thinking of trying to get my old job back in that area however I'm worried they'll say no. I don't know what to do anymore. I have no friends to go to as they all have their own lives and kids and I don't want to be a bother. I have no family to go to for the same reasons.

I refuse to get an abortion so don't suggest that. I will bring this baby up by myself if I have to. I can't think of one thing he's researched about the baby he just asks me to show him on the app how big the baby is now. Spends his time watching YouTube videos about random crap that has no positive effect on his life that I can see.

When I don't know what to eat he says "don't eat anything then" in a sarcastic voice. It's not that I'm not hungry trust me I am it's just I don't know what to eat as I don't know what I'm going to throw back up.

Oh and I got called lazy because I hadn't done some sorting out of clothes because guess what I'M TIRED AND I'M PREGNANT AND I KEEP ON BEING SICK AND I HAD THE CRAPS, I PEE ABOUT TWELVE HUNDRED TIMES IN THE NIGHT, I SLEEP LIKE A STICK INSECT COS YOU HOG THE BED, MY BACK HURTS I GET HEADACHES, THE LIST GOES ON.

I am happy I have a bub growing though.

Sorry for the rant.

Any negative comments directed to me please feel free to sit infront of your mirror and say them to yourself...

If God brought me to it he will bring me through it.

I don't know the purpose of this rant.

Don't know whether I'm hoping people will give me the push I need to leave. Or to help me to stay. I know he has trust issues and he's scared to get close to someone. He's already told me he's mean to people to try and push them away. However it's the way he reacts about tohings. I'm just confused about things. Guess I had wool on my eyes about everything? Not wanting to believe I am in a crappy relationship. Also he's said about my mood and if I push him to the edge he will leave he don't care if I got 10 babies or 1 he will go.