baby envy

today is one of those days when I have huge baby fever. I have 2 amazing sons and desperately want another baby (would LOVE a daughter). I am currently on year 3 of the implant, got it replaced in feb. I married my SO, father to my boys, in May. our financial situation is HORRIBLE and we live with family. I don't want another one until we are on our own and are stable. I don't want to be living with his family when I do have another bc of how my SOs mother is and I don't need that drama after having a baby considering my past with ppd/ppa. but there are days where I want to say fuck it, let's remove my birth control and let nature takes it course. my youngest is 3 and honestly the thought of not trying till he's older makes me question if I'll still want a baby in 2 years or so. by then he will be school and will I really want another one then? I feel...lost I guess on what to do. I just know that I wouldn't be able to handle my SO mom up my butt if I have a baby while living with her, she didn't get to enjoy the baby stage with my others and I just know she'll be up in mine and the baby's face and I can't handle that. but the thought of having to wait another 2 years just breaks my heart.