Am i wrong?

Question

When my fiancée and i got together 4 years ago we used to make our own videos and if i wasn't home or in the mood thats what he used. Well 2 kids later and he is no longer showing interest in making videos so i got curious thinking he was cheating (which in a way he was) and found he has been lookin at some skinny b**ches im far from skinny but im not undesirable fat pretty much thick. He swears im so pretty/sexy etc but we have sex way less than normal for me to find out he would rather look at some skinny girls than to actually have sex or make videos for it. But apparently im not allowed to feel like im a fat nasty piece of crap or that im not good looking enough for him to wanna fantacise about. All i asked of him since day 1 was  If you're gonna look at porn it BETTER be our videos. Tomorrow makes 4 years we have been together does it really take 4 years to know what to do and what not to do? PS. Before someone says anything yes porn is cheating it is the fantasy of sex with someone else ie mentally cheating there are 3 types 1. Physical ie sex,oral, or even just touching. 2.Mental talking or fanticising and 3. Emotional ie dates or outtings

Answer

No I agree with her. There is a mental aspect to porn and she has every right to feel the way she does. I wouldn't be with him after this.

Answer

you're wrong and insecure.

Answer

Yes your wrong. Porn isnt cheating

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You have every right to feel this way. People don't fucking get that this IS your business and it's personal to YOU because this is your partner. It's personal when it comes to them looking at other women sexually. It ruins relationships and it lowers a mans sex drive and the proof is that you're having sex less because of him. I'd have a serious talk with him because it's not "you both live together but have separate lives and any feelings you have means you're controlling" it's about setting boundaries and compromise.

Answer

All these women on here aren't gonna be saying this bs when it's their man who can't get it up for them anymore 😂 porn is nasty. It does things to the brain and to relationships. I don't care how much it's "normalized". You know what else is ? Drugs. Rape. Just because people say it's normal doesn't mean it's okay, or healthy. Porn is all fun and games until someone gets addicted and can't get it up anymore ladies. It usually happens to most couples and I wish more women were aware of this, and understand that it's not worth it and that just because some women DO get that porn is disgusting and cheating doesn't mean they are insecure or wrong. It's a deal breaker for me. I'd leave. My husband knows I would be gone. Just because "all men do it" doesn't mean I want to be with a man who is like every other man. I want respect, I want 100% loyalty. Women give men excuses to cowardly cheat, it literally makes me sick. But hey to each their own.

Answer

"If someone tells you that you've hurt them you don't get to decide that you didn't" ck Louis. 
I love this quote bec it asks us to account for our actions and the feelings of the  people we care about.
He has hurt you. 
He does not get to decide he didn't. 
My advice is to remind him your agreement and tell him you love him and that agreement still Carries weight for you and your heart. Be gentle and open

Answer

You are entitled to feel whatever you feel, but you're not entitled to act however you want. You can't tell him what he can and cannot look at; you can voice your thoughts and opinions but he is a grown adult and can do as he pleases in this instance. "Porn is cheating" is an opinion, not a fact, and you are being extremely insecure and it sounds like you're throwing a temper tantrum honestly. Simmer down, and tell him how you feel, instead of treating him like a child 🙄

Answer

Just because some people watch porn with or without their SOS, does not mean it is not wrong in THIS specific relationship. They talked about the rules from the beginning. If it were me, I'd want to know why my husband suddenly decided to break the rules. He could have talked about it. Maybe ask to watch it together. And if it was porn with someone who looked like the complete opposite of me, I'd ask questions too. 
Anyways. I guess just try and talk to him. See why he is doing it and if there is anything you both could do that would help with the sex problem. 
Good luck.

Answer

My fiance and I watch porn together and separately but I totally get how some couples look at it as wrong. So I respect that in your relationship and he should as well. If he knows the rules and breaks them thats wrong on him. As for the skinny girl thing, please don't feel insecure. My fiance likes to watch curvy thick girls and sometimes body builders. I have always been small so I joked with him once if he would love me more if I gained 100 pounds and his answer was no. He said he has a skinny girl to put in the bedroom so he likes to fantasize about other stuff. If I was curvy or a body builder he would just watch skinny girl porn.

Answer

I have sat down and calmly talked to him multiple times. I have told him how i was made fun of in school for being fat. How all my family constantly reminds me of how fat i am or how ugly I am. Every guy i have tryed to have a relationship with has completely dogged my entire life. And every guy that wanted to get wit me wanted to use me for something material then leave or cheat and leave. He has watched me cry in disgust at myself cause i tryed yet another weight loss method and failed. We barely have sex anymore. Not like i don't try he usually pushes me away then wants to supposedly try when I already gave up and went to bed but also says i respond when i don't ever remember it. He knows i LOVE when he just grabs a phone and records but randomly quit when i started showing with our first and hasn't since. And the lack of sex thing started around then too our first is 3. I got pregnant the same month we got together. Started showing really good at about 24 weeks and it started from there. Ive even told him how I LOVE to be woke up to oral or sex but how does he do it he trys to shake me awake and even still as i BEGGED him to do it! He gets mad if im scrolling down Facebook and even a pic of a guy pops up. Why? Cause hes a lil chubby and gets jealous thinking im looking at it. We just discussed all of this 1MONTH AGO!! (And have periodically had them since August 2. 2013.)What does he do? Goes and saves girls names in his phone JUST 3 DAYS AGO!! He agreed he would respect how i feel as long as i respect how he feels about certain things. BUT that has been a 1 way street lately.

Am i wrong?

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