help please i need advise

My partner and I have a very tricky relationship we have been together for 6 years... She has biploar and I know i use it as an excuse for her behaviour... i guess it easier than dealing with the one you love treat you like shit. I am not 100 percent innocent in this I have made plenty of mistakes and done some not very nice things... She has a terrible temper I hid from her that i was talking to my sister and she threw kitty litter all over me in a rage. She hates my family because she believes that I put them second.... not sure if it is true I dont feel i do but there is two sides to every story so i try and see where she is coming from. My grandmother just passed away and I called my dad her idea btw and now she is going off at me telling me all this stuff like i dont care about her or ever had. I choose my family over her all the time... i have not actually spoken to my family until the other day in over 12 months. She says I have to choose but I dont want to lose one or the other.. i dont know what to do? she just spent the past 2 hrs yellin at me non stop. We have been ttc and have all of our fertility appointments booked and now she is saying its on pause until I decide....