The past 7months have literally been some of the best moments to some of the absolute worst moments. I found out I was pregnant in February, first time ever seeing two pink lines and about three months trying. Went in for the first appointment at 8weeks. Saw a little baby and we were super excited but had not told people other then family. Went in 10weeks for a follow up appointment, saw baby again, everything was looking great.

Went in for appointment at 13weeks. Found out it was twins, identical at that and found out they were boys. We could not believe it. We thought the whole time it was one baby and we were so excited and blessed it was two identical babies. What were the odds! (Extremely small for identical twins actually) We were super excited but very cautious because I knew a few people that did not have good outcomes with twins. I had a couple bleeding scares at 20weeks, 22weeks and 24weeks. At 24weeks also had preterm labor that was stopped. 25weeks and 1day my water broke. I cried the whole way to the hospital because I knew this was way too early.

We lost our first born boy at 24 hours after birth. Our second boy was in the NICU for 31 days before passing. I cannot wrap my head around why this all happened. I am so heartbroken and angry. Why did this all happen this way, I mean I never expected twins, we thought it was one baby for the first 3months. I don't know what to do with myself, no one should have to go through this pain once, let alone twice. All I want is to be pregnant again and the doctor said I should wait 6months-1yr which seems like forever.