Up at 2am thinking about a lot

I'm a teen mom, also a single parent to my son and here recently I catch myself thinking about the day I have a child, planned, with the person that I'm spending the rest of my life with. I love my son so much but I just can't wait until I find "the one" someone amazing that not only loves me, but my son as well. I can't wait until the day I actually plan to have a baby, with someone that wants that baby as much as I do. I got pregnant at 15 (I'm 17 almost 18 now) and my sons father was 16, we were already in a pretty rocky place in our relationship when I found out I was pregnant, then as time went on things got worse. I started maturing fast (for my son) and just growing up all the while my ex wanted to keep being super immature and do everything but take care of our baby. He didn't want a baby. At all. And it hurt so bad because originally I didn't either but then I of course had to accept it that either way I was having a baby! I love my son so much. But I just can't wait for the moment when I do things "the right way" get married and then plan my 2nd baby with the one I love.

*Before anybody says it, no I don't want to run out and have another baby right now. I've decided to just stay single for a little while, do me, and get my life together and just focus on raising my son. I've been single for a little over a year and don't plan on jumping back into dating for awhile. Boys will always be there, right now I'm focused on raising my son, getting my GED, going to college, and eventually getting the job in nursing that I want and getting an apartment or something. If I meet someone with in a few years, great. But I'm not looking. Meanwhile my ex makes fun of me for the fact that I want to stay single for now and he's got another girl pregnant already.