It's time to move on😞

I hang out with ex still and we even recently had sex. It was great almost as if we were still together. He tells me he loves me and that he wants to be with me. He tells me that I'm everything to him. This boy has me going back and forth. Acting like he wants to be with me but continues to tell me that this isn't going to work. Yesterday we were hanging out with some friends and I know he has a box of condoms in the back of his car. The day we had sex he had just bought the box but when I reached in to the box he only had five left.. the night we were together we had used three.. and two of them were not used with me.. I don't know why it hurt so bad. I started to see red but I couldn't cry anymore. I started shaking and I couldn't catch my breath. So many thoughts and emotions were filling my mind and I just wanted to make them stop. I've cried for months and I just had nothing left. Later we sat down and talked. He put it on me.. he said that if I had never looked I wouldn't have gotten hurt. But all I can think of is "you couldn't just tell me that happened? What if you and I had sex a week from now and I catch something?!" Here I was again trying to fight for something that I shouldn't. I even told him that we can be friends but I have no more fight left in me to try and make the relationship work. he kissed me later on that night. I have never ever felt so disrespected and disgusted in my life. I love this boy but I know it's time now. Seeing that has showed me that I can't do whatever this is anymore. I've been asked out on dates but have repeatedly said no because I still feel like I'll be disrespecting him. No more...