Am I the only one who felt this after abortion

A few months ago me and my boyfriend decided to have an abortion. I didn't want to but the decision was made and I regret it horribly. He wasn't ready for a baby and I let that affect my decision and I can't get over it. I'm trying to deal with my mistake but for some reason I can't stand when he plays with other children and carries babies

His friend just had a baby and he always tells him that he is there for him and will help and support what he needs. And I just get mad cause he is willing to do that for his friends but didn't want to have our baby for one of many reason that he wasn't ready.

I feel so selfish that I feel like that because babies are innocent and it's not their fault but I don't like seeing him be so caring with them. And it frustrates me that he's so willing to support his friend but the last time I tried to talk about how I felt he said I need to find a way to deal with what happened.

I know I shouldn't be angry with him because it was me who was dumb for making a decision I knew I didn't want because I was scared.

I am just wondering if anyone else felt this after an abortion and how wrong am I for feeling like this. He's the only one I try to speak to about how I felt about our abortion because of how ashamed I am