So today my sister came and told me that my grandma called me fat behind my back all because when she asked me if I wanted to try a smoothie that helps you "loose weight" I had said no thank you. I was also told that she said I look like I'm "pregnant and having my 3rd child" it was no surprise to me since everytime I visit her she always comments on my weight and not in a nice way, which low-key makes me feel bad. keep in mind I'm already on a diet, I have

completely cut out sodas the only thing I drink is water and those Perrier sparkling flavored water which has 0 calories 0 sugars and cut out junk food and no longer eat fast food. I've lost 3 pounds so far which is not much but it's a start. I know I'm fat but it makes me feel bad when I'm constantly reminded of it. I had 2 kids back to back, with my 1st baby, when she was 3 months old I was 5 pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight when I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. With my 2nd I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and went from 170 to 202 lbs I'm currently 193 lbs which means I haven't lost much baby weight at all. This is the heaviest I've ever been in my life. Since middle school I was always between 100 to 130 pounds before I had kids I also gained weight because my husband loves eating out and I started gaining weight a couple months after I started dating him which took me from 130 lbs to 165 lbs.

when I was in middle school I had an eating disorder I would starve myself and lost a ton of weight to the point that everyone around me noticed my grandma is the one that took me to therapy for it. I know maybe it's because she cares but I hate being constantly judged I'm never good enough, my own husband doesn't even shame my weight. I can't wait to keep loosing weight so she can STFU. I'm also going to go to the gym once my son stops breastfeeding and so is my husband because we want to loose weight together