weight gain

ok so i see most ladies saying they have gained little or no weight during the 1st trimester and i know this is how it should be.. i also see many losing weight due to morning sickness and then there is me... i have gained about 12lb 🙈🙈 im so ashamed i have had bad nausea daily (no actual being sick) were i feel really sick until i eat teamed with bad food aversions and cravings so my diet hasnt been the best but i wudnt say its been the worst either... im really really bloated too i actually look 20 weeks when im only 12. im scared that they are going to be angry when im weighed at my next appointment. please tell me someone is in the same boat. i really dont understand why i have gained so much weight 😷😷😷