I'm sorry. I don't know what yo do anymore. I'm losing myself and my life is falling apart. I know I have PPD. I can admit that. But I can't do anything about it. I won't stop breastfeeding because my baby brings me so much joy and breastfeeding makes me feel like I can do something right. I'm suffering in silence. I've tried talking about it, but I'm screaming in a crowded room with nobody listening to me. I'm alone. I just needed some place to just dump my emotions in to the cosmic void and disappear. I cry all the time. Everything is so hard and overwhelming. I have more than one child- I have more than 3 children. I try so hard everyday and I just can't do it. I'm just trying to get by, but I'm just wrecked. I put on a smiley face to hide the fact I'm dying inside. I smile and take care of my house and kids and then I fold and crack and then I'm crying an ugly cry on my bathroom floor. I pick myself up and bury my emotions and act like nothing happened. I'm just dealing with so much. Just too many little things. I'm suffocating with daily life. My happiness is my kids, but I often feel like a bad mother. I feel like a bad mother because I didn't have enough money to by my son a doll. I feel like a bad mother because I made just macaroni and cheese for dinner because I'm so tired. I feel like a bad mother because I didn't wash my son's favorite shirt today. I feel like a bad mother because my daughter cries all the time because she's teething and I don't know how to help her. My relationship with my husband is suffering and i can't help it. I'm sorry I'm being a bitch. I'm sorry I didn't wash your work clothes. I'm sorry I need help. I'm sorry that everyone thinks I'm super mom and can do it all but they don't know the truth. I'm sorry that I'm trying to hold everything together and I'm just falling apart. I'm so sorry for everything.