Stress messing with our "sexy time"

Where do I even begin? The past two weeks have been so different between my lover and I it's like I can't tell if I'm the problem or he is or what??? Long story short, I've always had pain when I pee because I have a hard time controlling my muscles, especially when stressed. The past month it hurt so much I can't bare it, and I can't even think about sex because not only will it be uncomfortable but I noticed I haven't been getting "wet" like I normally do. Since I can't have sex vaginally ive just been giving my hubby hand jobs and he's always loved that.....on top of this for the past two weeks I feel distance between him and I. It's like we bump heads and even when we agree his voice is raised as if we're arguing. He's always complaint about the same issue but hasn't done anything to fix it and after years of listening I can of just pretend to care and listen to him complain now. On his days off I asked him if we can spend more time together and less time on our phones and tv because we're always on the phone and he's always playing play station4 and when he wants to "watch a movie" he falls asleep and I end up watching alone.....tonight we were in the shower and I unexpectedly said "babe I feel like lately we haven't been getting along".......he didn't say a word...so I said "well what do you think?" And he said "just stressed" he didn't say anything the rest of the night and now he's asleep and I'm laying here wondering if I'm the stress or if maybe there's someone else.