Are your husbands like this??

Question

I love my husband but I feel like he is such a jerk  sometimes. I don't feel like he ever takes my happiness into consideration. We've been together for 8 years, married for 5 with 2 sons. In all these years, he's bought me flowers twice, bought me jewelry once (when we first started dating) and since we've had our son (3year old) he never makes an effort to have date night so we've never just had US time in three years. He refuses to "spoil" me cuz he thinks it's better to get something once in a blue moon and it makes it better 🙄 I love taking photos and he constantly gets mad at me for trying to take some of us. He's constantly annoyed at me cuz I apparently ask to many questions. Which i realize I do but when I sense tension between us I get nervous try so hard to make small talk. He's an amazing father tho. I can tell him everything that upsets me about him and all he ever has to reply is "I do love you, I am sorry I am not the husband you hoped for" 
Maybe I am just dreaming to big but I just constantly feel like crying and so depressed. I feel like I can't even enjoy my kids cuz I am constantly feeling down and it just gets the best of me. I can't just get up and leave cuz of my families culture and we had to fight hard enough to be together because I am a different race then him and my family didn't agree. 
How do I get through this? Why can't he just be a sweeter husband? 😩 and why can't he just for once do something I enjoy not because I begged him to but because it makes me happy.

Answer

Your feelings are valid. This would be a huge issue for me too. He's not putting in the effort to keep you, and he knows he doesn't have to because you won't leave.

It's time for counseling. If he won't agree to go, which is sounds like he won't, then go alone. Learn how to deal with the situation you are in and make a decision when you are healthy to make it. I hope for you sake he goes and learns how he is not meeting your needs.

I'd suggest the love languages quiz so he could see and read what pleases you and how you feel loved, but honestly it doesn't sound like he'd care to put in the effort.

Sorry for what you are going through. I'd feel incredibly neglected as a wife and woman. I've been with my husband for 10 years and we are very happy because my husband cares about my needs. Seek help.

Answer

Maybe concentrate on the things he does do rather than doesn't. Or buy yourself flowers and jewellery. U don't need no man to buy them for u haha and if he says why did you buy that la de da u can then say well u never do haha. But in all seriousness some men just arnt romantics in that way!

Answer

I'm sorry you're going thru this. I really like what M said. It sounds like he shows his love in other ways than what you are hoping for. You need to communicate to him how important it is to you to have some more romance in the relationship and explain to him how he can start working toward making that happen. Baby steps. And when he does do something for you that makes you happy make sure you tell him how much it meant to you.

Answer

Sounds like your "love language" is different. In order for a relationship to be healthy for both of you and last a lifetime you can have different love languages but each person has to learn how to communicate their love in their partners style or else it might not be getting across to them. Sounds he like provides love in the provider role but you need more little offerings and reminders of love. This is a very simple thing for him to do and would take very little effort from him - he just has to take into consideration that it would make you Really Happy and help your relationship be strong enough to last. Even though it's not his natural way of expressing love what matters is learning about our partners and how they interpret love and, in a committed long termrelationship, learning new tricks that will keep them feeling loved and appreciated.
Basically, it would be very easy for him to learn how to buy you flowers once a month because it would mean a lot to you. You guys should schedule a date once a month, it doesn't have to be crazy. Just a movie or a nice dinner together or a low key dinner together at a picnic or something.

Answer

He's a dick.

Are your husbands like this??

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