Think abused women should "just leave"? Then give them somewhere to go

Question

What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree that housing is a major factor in leaving an abusive relationship? Does it bother you when people say things like "just leave" or do you think leaving is possible in practically any situation? How should finance issues in abusive relationships be dealt with when one person is controlling all of the money? 
Would you personally open your home to someone in an abusive relationship who needed it? 
Feel free to share any thoughts or comments.

Answer

I agree. And they need better checks and balances. When my mom went to a shelter with me when I wss younger, one woman and her three kids were kicked out because the mom gave the kids doughnuts for breakfast, and apparently that's against the rules. She ended up back with the abusive father. We left shortly after that and also returned to our abuser. Lots of flaws with our current system.

Answer

Housing is a HUGE factor when it comes to abusivw relationships. ESPECIALLY when the abuser is in control of all the money. Abused women tend to have low self confidence, they've basically are inches away from giving up. That's why it takes so long for them to leave. They leave once with full confidence they're gonna leave then get slapped in the face with reality. No job, no housing, no car, no money so they go back. 
It's not so much providing affordable housing. It's providing a safe place to go to. The abused person needs to know they're safe first and foremost. What good is an affordable housing apt, if the woman doesn't feel safe to go there? What if she doesn't have a job? Are there going to be job placement programs to help create an income? Are they going to help her find a car as well. 
When I think of what women's shelters need, is this. They need job placement opportunities, they need affordable housing, they need their sense of independence restored b4 u send them off somewhere alone. 
I think it's a great idea to have. But the conditions suck. There really shouldn't be many conditions if there's a record of the person being abused. Think about it, if statistics show that it takes an average of 7 times for the abused to leave there would be documented proof that that person was leaving an abusive relationship and needs help. 
I think maybe providing some kind of short term assistance for people going through that would be helpful as well. I can understand having conditions for financial assistance but housing that's kinda tough. 
As for money, if the woman already has a job and just doesn't feel safe there, there should be some kind of emergency protection order placed . And the abused should be able to contact the bank and receive their money either by mail or paper form till they can set up their own bank account

Answer

This is one of the reasons I spent 7-8 years in my past relationship. We were together for nearly 13 years. I had 3 children to worry about. The general public would be dumbfounded over all of the things I had to deal with. Abuse doesn't always look like bruises. You can't always "see" it. And the majority of them "seem so nice". It is truly a process and undertaking to "get away".

Answer

It's nothing to do with housing. It's about fear and control. My mother had three kids (youngest being me at 1 months) and wouldn't leave my bio father even though he cheated, got drunk, used drugs and beat her and my oldest brother (he was 6-12 years) because she was terrified of him. And she was living right next to cousins, aunties and her own mother and father. So that was not an issue. She was terrified he'd do something worse to her and my brothers. In fact she didn't leave him, he left her saying she cheated and I wasn't his. (I unfortunately most definitely am) 
So no. 
Women (or men) can't "just leave" 😒

Answer

A solid option is to seek out help from a church. There are tons of people more than willing to open up their homes to people in need, especially in situations like this.

Answer

Leaving an abuser is usually one of the hardest things someone in that situation would ever have to do. It's not all black and white.

Answer

What about men? Where are the hostels and shelters for men suffering abuse? The rates are nearing fifty fifty now, yet we still laugh when a man speaks up. We tell him to grow a pair. Why the fuck do we keep focusing on women where there was something like $120million donated to the cause?? There's protection and help for them. I tell you what, I won't hold back on bashing a bitch if she hits my brothers or mates. It's fucking useless we are doing nothing to help men. They're the ones that need it most. Stop ignoring this problem.

Think abused women should "just leave"? Then give them somewhere to go

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