something missing? (sorry it is rlly long)

I am 17 and i have severe depression and anxiety, but i also have another problem. I found out that i identify very heavily with being a submissive and also i like being a little. I don't like to necessarily be like 4 and wear pigtails and call my boyfriend daddy (i hate the idea of calling him that). I like to act a little childish ( i don't forget my age or anything) and like i am alot more attached. But i already treat him like my dom in the bedroom but i also wish i could act a little more..., ya know? Little. I love him so much, but it hurts when we have sex and he just kind of wants nothing to do with me, he cuddles with me for like few minutes and goes back to video games. He doesn't necessarily know even though i kind already act a bit like that most of the time, bevause it isn't a sex thing for me, it is because i am just a very emotional person and i feel like i have never grown out "grown out of it". I just wish i could be more myself without annoying him with my anxieties and my mindset. I just kind of want to know im not alone. is there anybody else out there that maybe feels the same way? just like a piece of them is missing?