Need Advice

Tonight, I got I to the worst fight ever with my bf. He was ready to end it with me... That thought utterly breaks my heart and soul. I also got pushed/thrown into the wall/floor.... Before tonight he's never EVERb done anything like That before. EVER. tt be fair we both were drunk. I asked if I should pack my stuff and it made him more angry. Am I really so stupid ? im told that I am. I live hi. with every part of my being. words can't express hienmuch heeans to me. I don't know that to do.... He is also a combat veteran. I try to take that into account. He has been through a TON. and he is 10 years older than me. I guess this is more of a vent. But I don't have anyone to talk to...