body positivity struggle

hey guys, so I've pretty much been super insecure about my body for as long as I can remember. I hate the way I look. I want to lose the weight so bad. in the past I fell into really bad habits to try to lose weight, yet still looked fat. this created even worse effects when I started eating normally again because I've gained even more weight. basically what I'm asking for is advice. I feel like whenever Im motivated to try to improve myself it wont last long until i give up. if any of you have tips I'd love to hear them