How to better myself while dealing with infertility

I am depressed, I know it. I couldn't get a meeting with a therapist until sept 18th. I work from home, some days I don't even leave the house. I'm always in a bad mood and my husband sees it. We got pregnant 6 years ago (1 year of dating) but had an abortion (the pill). I have carried this guilt with me ever since, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it. I literally hate myself. We got pregnant without even trying and now we are unexplained infertility. This is all my fault