15-19 years old : dated a guy who emotionally abused + mentally abused + once in a while laid a hand on me.

his 29 year old brother also raped me a handful of times when I was 15.

20-22 years old : dated a basic guy who cheated. that's it

22-27 years old : dated a pathological liar who's stories were so extravagant with his lies that once he said he went to go cut the Xmas tree by hand upstate in the woods, then the next morning when the branches dropped, I saw the home depot tag on the tree trunk. one month after breaking up with him after finding him in Walmart with another girl, he had a new gf who he now has a baby with.

27-28 years old : dated a kid a few years younger than me who tricked me into thinking we were something more than what he knew it was going to be. I caught him with other ladies and that ended.

29-30 years old : I have been dating a guy who is in some ways comparable to the first one. has extreme anger issues. we have been on and off.

last week Friday we rekindled, had a nice sexy night together where he told me he loved me and wanted a baby for his birthday.

I am on vacation with my mother and this boy calls me up to rip me apart with horrible words. Just absolute horrible things that he could ever say to me. He is acting the way he promised he never would ever be like..

I am waiting for my period to start. I just bought a pregnancy test today to take tomorrow morning.

He has blocked me on everything.

The guy who I dated before him walked into my home 3 months after we ended. I was already with this new guy. I was laying in bed napping. I woke up to someone in my room. and they got into bed behind me. afraid to turn around I reached over and grabbed their chin. no beard meant my ex. bears meant my bf. there was no beard. my ex didnt believe I had a bf and kept trying to touch me. I ended up kicking him out of my house but that was after he force kissed me. I told my bf that night. and now apparently my ex told him things happened that night between us. but it never did. so I took screenshots of my conversation with that person and sent them to his mom and dad and a friend and one friend of mine and him through email. trying to get these pictures to him in hopes of proving that I never was unfaithful to him.

him? he cheated. was fucking his coworker for 5 months we were together. and tonight he told me he fucked his ex and some new girl twice this weekend. hopes I get raped and that I crash and die.

how stupid am I? why even try sending the pictures? there is nothing left here to save? it's 3:00am. I am very sad I am very hurt and I just dont know what to do. I thought about him all day and I wish I hadn't and now he calls me and is so vile. he has serious mental issues. but I'm just so confused cause hes so up and down. no this isn't someone I want to spend my life with. but I can't bear to think he thinks I was unfaithful and end it on that note. no way will I allow him to use that bullshit to justify his own destructive actions. if anyone grade this this far, thank you.

I'm hurt. and I shouldn't be. I really shouldn't be. I should be Happy. but I'm not.

I really hope I'm not pregnant. and god bless the next man who comes into my life.

someone give me the truth. just lay it on me hard