Husband doesn't get it! Help!

Okay so my husband and I have a horrible sex life. He has never given me an orgasm, it's boring and overall just sucks. I try so hard to spice things up. Toys, role play, new things. He loves it.. but it's all about him and him cumming. He NEVER touches me. Hasn't gone down on me in months, hasn't fingered me in years. Honestly.. he has NEVER even rubbed my clit.. yeah. That's right. Never. I try and get him to. I move his hand, instruct him, etc. he doesn't do it. We've had so many talks and it goes no where. Today I sat him down and honestly tried to have a real talk. His words?

"It's not all about me. I don't force you so you have sex with be cause you want to so it's for both of us" LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING CLUELESS. THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE. I try talking to him more, telling him in depth about what I need and what he needs to do. He says "I do all that" I honestly think he's clueless about sex. Completely clueless and I never cared much before but now I do. He's ignoring me now because he keeps getting defensive. I've been telling him for so long how much it upsets me. I stopped giving him blowjobs, he didn't really care. Stopped giving him handjobs, didn't care. Now I told him until he steps up, I don't want sex. He got mad about that and said "fine we won't ever have sex. We can be married without sex" so I'm just done 😩😩😩😩😩