freaking out..

Okay, so I already have 3 children. 4, 3 and 1. The youngest wasn't supposed to happen but he did...we said after him that's it. We've been using protection but I'm now 7 days late (which only happens when I'm pregnant) my partner is so against having another one...but there is no way I can go through an abortion. Someone please tell me 4 kids isn't crazy and that we will survive. 😭😭😭 I have really bad PPD, and I'm constantly dealing with the negative Nancy in my head (always telling me I'm a horrible mother) I'm so stressed out, Every time I go to the toilet I pray there is blood, but of course there isn't. 😢😢