You ever feel like crying but you can't cry? Like you have the urge to cry but no tears come out? That's exactly what I feel like. I recently found out my boyfriend(now ex) had a baby with another girl on my birthday. I saw his arm band in his car when I got in but I didn't pick it up and he said he has surgery on his throat. And I'm wondering why wouldn't he tell me before?? So I couldn't spend my birthday with him. Our entire relationship was a lie, everything he said was a lie. He treated me so good in the beginning. But like a few weeks before my birthday(and the birth of the baby) he became distant. We didn't go out anymore or do anything. And he had me thinking it was my fault when he left and didn't give me a reason. Then he said if we just work on ourselves and communication then we could be together so I agreed then I didn't hear from him in two days so I went to his Facebook and didn't see anything so I went to his mother page and then I saw him holding a baby then I read the comments and she's saying it's his baby. I feel more stupid than I do hurt because there was so many signs I ignored. Everyone in his family knew and never said anything to me. They would look in my face everyday and not say a word. I feel so betrayed by everyone. I don't know how I'm supposed to trust anyone ever again. I really fee like shit right now and I just want to fade away because I loved him more than I had ever loved anyone. He was the first and only guy I ever had sex with and that hurts so much. Last week he just told me he was still in love with me now this week he's treating me like I was a random hookup. I haven't heard from him in days and he left without an explanation to be with her and the baby. Like I really want to fucking die right now. I can't be strong anymore. I've never felt this kind of hurt in my life and I just don't know what to do