I'm the queen of getting myself into situations in which I end up hurt.

Why do i do this to myself you ask?

Good question. I wish I knew.

However, I've been in a relationship for almost two years now and I'm still scared to love him more than he loves me.

The, "What if he wakes up one day and doesn't love me anymore?" thought, constantly goes through my head. What if I get even further into this and he decides I'm not for him?

I find myself comparing my relationship to other couples and I know this isn't something I should do but in doing so I start to wonder why mine doesn't seem to be moving forward despite me trying so hard to show him that I'll always be here and support him through anything.

For example, my SO told me today that his cousin who just brought his new girlfriend of less than a month, to the family cookout to introduce her to everyone, texted him and told him that he is thinking of proposing next June if things continue on the path they're on now.

Now they've talked before, on and off over the years and they're older than us but I just can't help but feel like, why doesn't my SO feel that sure about me?

We've lived together for almost 2 years. I don't want to rush into marriage or anything. It just makes me fear that my relationship is temporary since he's not sure yet.

Do y'all ever have similar feelings or have you?

How do you help yourself let go off that fear?