I had my first emotional breakdown at 1am and then again at 4am. I wanted to breastfeed so bad more than anything else this is what I was so excited about and I was so confident I could do it. To think I judged women who didn't do it or who I thought gave up to easily. But after just 2 days I'm ready to give up. I've seen 2 different lactation consultants on 2 different occasions supposedly my latch looked good and just got a few tips on things I could do better as I was beginning to blister. My nipples are so raw that one of them has black scabs on it now. I literally cried when trying to feed at 1am. Then the baby doesn't sleep all he wants is more boob constantly making mouth movements. Even spoke to his pediatrician he says baby just seeking for comfort. So I caved and gave him a pacifier. Then this morning when I was crying from the pain I caved and sent my husband out for nipple shields at 1am. To note my lactation consultants are against pacis or shields. At 4:30am I started boiling bottles and pulled the free sample of formula I received that I swore I'd never use. Why couldn't this have gone better? I wanted it so bad.