Umm i just need to tell this to someone..

So i had this big crush on my classmate.I told a friend that i liked him but she told my crush that i liked him at first i dint think about it to much just i avoided eye contact with my crush.After a week i got a friend request from my crush i was so happy and exited. He send me a mesage saying ,,hello'' and thats how it all started.

We texted each other almost every day for 2 months and after 2 moths he asked me out to go out for sushi becouse thats our favorite. I came to the resturant and i waited for him ... he dint come , he dint show up.

I came home my mom asked how it was i smiled and said it was fantastic i cried inside i waited for him for 4 hours but he dint show up to our ,,date" . I texted him he said its not gonna work out he was ,,daiting" me for a day if u can call it a date. I cried myself to sleep that day. The next day was school for me every body stared at me i dint think too much about it as always. My crush showed our text to his friend and his friends told their friend extr. I was so angry the day he told me we were done i sended some stupid messages and he showed the text to his friends. So 5 months passed no more bulying at least me and my crush were texting again and he said he was ,,sorry" he dint think ... i believed him . A month goes by. Where going out again this time to eat pizza. He at least came . He dumped me in front of his friends i think he was triing to seem cool i gues... i cried till i fell asleep . I felt so freaking sad and pathetic i said to my self every morning ,,its your fault youre so naive so happy and optimistic youre a loser your ugly" thats every mornig for 1,5 years.

I still cant get myself a boyfriend im scared im gonna mess up again i have a scar witch still doesnt heal.

And just becouse my ,,friend" told my crush i liked him,and becouse my crush was trying to seem cool in front of his friends. He was playing with my feelings like it was nothing. Im writing this post couse i need to tell this to someone. I need to heal this scar. Thanks fo reding my story. Sorry for bad english.