Limiting visiting time?

Question

So we're quickly approaching baby's arrival and I just want to have time after she gets here to rest and figure her out. Would it be wrong of us to limit visit times that first day to 30-45 minutes? We have soooo much family and just our parents will take up like 2+ hours. We are having her at a birth center and will likely go home hours after I give birth so I don't want a million people in our house pawing at our baby before we've even had a chance to be with her. I'm not sure how to politely tell people that?

Answer

You are mom! 
You get to do whatever you want !!! 
My hubby and I are not calling anyone till we decide to (except my mom, and midwife, and doula) 
My mil and FIL want to be in the waiting room the whole time and be updated. 
As soon as we mention anything there will be questions and texts and calls that I can't and DO NOT WANT TO F***ING DEAL WITH WHILE IM LABOR (let alone delivering) 
My husband agrees and he knows his parents. This is our plan of action. 
I need the calm and the not crazy. I need my husband and not to have my freaking MIL decide she needs to know everything from him. He needs to be present for me as well 
They may be offended. But tough they'll get to see a baby and everything will be better afterwards. 
So after we have a postpartum room, after I've been helped to shower and so forth and baby is okay and checked among other things THEN I would let them know. Hey we had a baby come visit. 
Again. Offended but baby and love covers all. So tadah (: 
You're momma. What you want goes. If you want to wait to have family. Wait !!! They don't matter in your birth story. You and baby do. It's OKAY TO SAY NO. 
I'm a people pleaser I am, but that doesn't mean I need to let everyone walk over me. 
NO is an acceptable answer and you get to hide behind medical staff and be you and say oh sorry. I forgot to call or text because I was in the moment. 
When you're pushing or laboring. You're not thinking "hey I should call so and so" you're going to be thinking "oh wow this ouch, breathe, I need to breathe, ouch" and you're going to want all your mental strength. You don't need added strain! 
Good luck mama. Hope this helped some

Answer

that's perfectly reasonable. I've said that we absolutely want no visitors for the 1st 2 weeks after our baby is born. We need time to figure things out without family telling us what to do. I thought I could count on my husband telling his mother, he kept saying he would until I couldn't bite my tongue anymore and just told her myself.

Answer

I'm birthing at home. I'll be texting people to let them know the baby came and saying we look forward to seeing you in the coming weeks. Other than our parents I don't want anyone over. It's too stressful. This time should be spent establishing breastfeeding and getting to know this new person. I don't need to play hostess and hand my baby over to other people. 
You could do this:
Short and Sweet Home visit after Baby’s Arrival
The best way you can support a family with a new baby in the house. 
1. Keep your visit short: under 15 minutes for the first few weeks after the birth.
2. Bring a healthy meal. Include a salad or fresh vegetables.  Only use disposable dishes to simplify the family’s life. 
3.  In addition to your meal, bring cut up veggies and fruit, unsalted trail mix or nuts, or other such healthy snacks for daytime munching for mom to eat while she's nursing.
4.  Go into the kitchen and spend 5 minutes clearing off a counter, washing a sink-full of dishes, loading the dishwasher etc.  Then set the table for their dinner.
5. The family can leave a list of chores that visitors can help with on the fridge and cleaning supplies in a bin nearby for easy access. Help out in whatever way you can with chores from the list.
6.  Coo over the baby, but wash your hands before touching it. Do not kiss baby. 
7. If you can, offer to take older siblings to the park or bring them some coloring books or other quiet activities they can busy themselves with.
8.  If they want to eat right then, heat the food up and put it on the table, give everybody kisses and then leave.
9.  Take the garbage out when you go.
In and out. This will be the best visit the parents will have had.  They will love you and you will be awesome in their books forever. You can come back and have a longer visit when the parents have adjusted to their new normal.

Answer

With my daughter, We put no restrictions on visiting and honestly I wish we had. We only said we didn't want everyone there for the birth because our families don't like each other and my mom can be overbearing. Plus we didn't have an audience to make the child, we don't need one to birth it. In the hospital, everyone just showed up when they wanted and it was just like wtf leave.....my mom would always show up when I was asleep and would wake me up so I could tell them to bring my daughter from the nursery. Other times people would show up when my food would get there and I'm like uhhhhh yea just going to eat, you should have called. Not my job to entertain you. Once we got home, though, I wanted no one except my husband. It was just annoying having everyone all up in my business, telling me my house wasn't clean enough, my dog was a nuisance, I should have showered first, basically criticizing everything and fighting over who gets to hold my baby. 
Fortunately this time my mom has gone awol, my dad is doing relief work with FEMA, my brothers are busy with work and my in laws are all occupied besides my mother in law. I can stand one visitor because honestly she hates coming to my house so won't stay long 😂. Just stand firm and make sure your husband is 100% with your wishes beforehand. It's so hard not to feel like gangbusters when you guys don't agree. Still, make sure to compromise as needed, it's not just your baby and he's going to have requests too.  Good luck mama bear!

Answer

I would just tell them. Luckily for me I don't have much extended family running around. My MIL and SIL will be here (not staying with us) from out of town and will be around to help with my older children after birth. I will literally just excuse myself for a nap or time alone with baby if it gets too stressful, I have no problem retreating to my room and shutting the door. As for friends I only have one girl who I'm sure will stop by but she's pretty good about respecting boundaries so I don't see an issue. Just speak up and say what's on your mind. It's ok to be a bit selfish, your priority is yourself and baby😊

Answer

it's absolutely reasonable to expect people to keep their visits short.

Answer

First time around we let everyone come and visit at the hospital when she was born then we said no visitors at all the first week when we get home so we could rest and get used to life. Everyone understood and it was great and we'll do it this time too

Limiting visiting time?

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