So my ex came to my house Friday night. For anyone who has seen my previous post, this is the one that kept messaging me even though I wasn't replying back. Well we finally started talking again. It's not guaranteed that it's going to be a relationship again. I would like it to be but I understand he has a lot going on as far as with work and family and I don't want to be another person to push him into something. We still feel so comfortable with each other. We talk and while we're talking he'll stroke my arms or my face. I asked him if he talks to his family when something's bothering him, but he says they won't understand. His family lives in another county, but he does go to visit them. Any friends he has are all pretty much work related, with the exception of me. So he won't really go to them with his problems. He has started to go to therapy for his depression and anxiety. His job is a high stress job. But sometimes he needs someone to talk to, so I've become that person for him. So on Friday when he was leaving, my mom makes this joke that he should take me with him. He just smiles and say he just might. We are both adults in our 30s. I live with my parents originally to help my mom because she's disabled. But now that my dad is retired, it feels like she doesn't need my help as much. But I'm also currently not working, so getting my own place is still out of the question. My ex rents a room and isn't allowed any visitors. I only went once to his place when we were first seeing each other because his landlady wasn't home, so we took advantage. My ex did tell me he didn't want me to put my love life on hold for him. Meaning he would be fine if I dated other guys. But he's said that before when we were first trying to be friends over a year ago and he wasn't really fine with it because whenever I had a date he would try to get me to cancel. So I didn't tell him about the one date I had over a week ago. I had a good feeling about the guy I went out with but now I haven't really heard from him, so I'm just letting that go. I figured since that didn't work, there's no point in me telling my ex.

I probably will always have feelings for my ex, but I'm still trying to protect myself. As much as I hope this becomes more, I just have to keep reminding myself that it might just stay as it is. And it's not just him coming to me with his problems. If something's bothering me, he listens to me and helps me too.