IVF - 1 embryo. Need good support..

Hey ladies,

I normally don't post on here but, wow I'm so overwhelmed with every emotion imaginable that I just feel like I need a different time of positive support. Positive words. Stories. Idk honestly...

To begin, my husband and I had a miscarriage a little over 5 years ago and have been trying since. After 3 failed IUIs, we moved onto IVF.

With our insurance covering nothing, this is all out of pocket. I definitely like to think we live a good life but, who has $20,000 to just shell out? Well of course we did this one time. But, what if there needs to be a next time?

My egg retrieval was Thursday. They got 15 eggs. With all the updates, 11 were fertilized and 6 made it to the 3rd day. My phone call on the 3rd day, I was told that 2 were doing perfectly and the other 4 were behind but, we were transferring on day 5 so, they had time.

Day 5 rolled around, we were sooo excited to transfer our 2 and hopefully have some to freeze. Well, that wasn't the case... we got there and was told there was only 1 REALLY good one. The other 5 just didn't mature. So, we had one shot and one shot only.

I want to be excited that I have this little baby sprout inside of me right now but, I'm feeling like instead of excitement, I'm just stressed, sad, anxious, frustrated, scared. I feel like our bodies are working against each other.

What if this guy doesn't take at all? What if I have another miscarriage down the road?

That's 20 grand... out the window. (Not out the window but. That's how I'd feel). when would we be able to even attempt this again? We've been waiting for 5 years already..

Idk ladies. Thank you for reading this.. I'm just really caught up in my feelings. I want all the good feelings but, I just don't have them right now.