what is happening :(

me and my partner have two kids under the age of two and we been together for five years, in the last year we have drifted apart alot and all we do is argue and when where good its good, really good.

We are really different though and we have just started to see that, I like tattoos that are meaningful but he doesn't and I feel like he tries to control me in a way where it's not obvious to other people. He was going to break up with me after I got my lip periced :(

When we fight or if I'm confused about something he calls me a fuck head or dumb cunt :( I'm constantly on my toes and don't know what I am doing wrong sometimes I'm just asking a question..

Last night I had a dream of my ex and I can't stop thinking of it, of him. We broke up on good terms, he was my best friend and was for years before we started dating and we only dated for a month because I moved away because of family and now I live in the same suburb and I shouldn't be thinking of stuff like this but I miss him and when my partner treats me like shit I think what if and that I deserve better :(

He was laughing at my boobs when I got out of the shower the other day when I was bending over because there saggy and look funny when I bend over after having our two kids :( it hurt alot and he laughed when I said that.

after we had loving meaningful sex he said after I still don't see us lasting it broke my heart and I couldn't even believe he would say that after we had amazing loving sex.

I signed up for pt training lessons and he was like no other guys will care what u look like :(

I just feel so listed and alone and we are only good when he is feeling good :(