The more time goes by, the more people are experiencing. The more time goes by, the more tears flow down my face, being drained from my unlovable, aching soul.

The time just goes too fast. I can't even keep up with myself. I can't keep up with this ridiculous depression that seems so be consuming my whole life. You see, my mind is set to constant self doubt. My mind is set to the point where even the mention of love nearly brings me to tears because love, sex and relationships are completely unrealistic in my world. In my world I simply don't have the ability to ever have a relationship, to ever experience love like in the movies, while right at this very moment my best friend is with her boyfriend and god knows what they are doing. Honestly, i am fine with them together. I'm happy that ash is happy and that she has found someone, but my mental stability is not happy and fine with this. In fact, I can't even think about them without bringing myself to tears in complete jealousy and frustration.

I don’t even know how to pull myself together anymore. What do I do?!