He is very handsome, caring, funny, interesting, friendly, likes good music, we have a lot in common etc...but my "friend" is dating him. I say "friend" because I just found out recently she was talking shit about me even though I drive her around, pick her up and drive her to work cuz she doesn't even have a permit, do things for her, etc. I was with my friends and we walked into a restaurant and there she was with her BF. A few weeks before that I had asked if she was going to this concert in another state and she lied to me saying she didn't know how she was gonna get there and was going to use public transportation and I asked if she needed a ride and she never answered, and that's when she started talking shit about me, saying I'm pathetic and that I was "crawling back to her" even though all I was trying to do was give her a ride to this show (I heard this from a friend). When he saw me at the restaurant he said hi and was being friendly but she just had her head down the whole time and looked mad. When she went to the bathroom I turned around and I saw him looking at me and he looked like he felt bad for me.

Anyway, added me on FB a few months ago when they first started dating a few days after he met me and I had a crush on him instantly the first time we all hung out. I've never had a private conversation with him or tried to message him because I respect that they are together, but I can't help that I think he is really great every time I see him in person and at random times. I even keep my distance from him in person because I don't want to be shitty and flirt with him (I've never flirted w him btw). I've hung out with her and her bf several times and we always had a good time, so idk why she's just started talking shit about me, I've never even hinted anything about me having a crush on him. She treats him shitty and manipulates him. My friends who work with her say that she makes him drive her to work (they don't even live that close) and she makes him WAIT in the cafe her entire shift (8.5 hrs)!!! He sits there on his laptop the whole time otherwise she gets mad at him! Who the hell does this? She does this with all her bfs and cheats on them, but this guy is just so nice and she doesn't deserve him. What do I do?? I've felt like this since April of this year! Would it be wrong for me to message him and be friends with him?

Update: thank you ladies for putting some sense into me. I think I definitely needed it. I've decided not to talk to him at all and just move on with this silly crush. I would be horrified if any woman, friend or not, was trying to talk to my boyfriend in that sense, regardless of whether or not I was supposedly shitty.