I held a huge grudge towards you for 4 years, barely telling a full story to anybody.. But last year, i finally forgave you but i will never forget it no matter how hard i’ve tried. I was a 6th grader when i met you, you was an 8th grader and my brothers best friend. I thought you was cute and secretly crushing on you for months, then was excited when you had a crush on me too as well, I was on and off with you for maybe a year but i never counted it as a relationship.

You were my first kiss at an age of 11/12ish can’t really remember because i try to forget. I was madly in love with you well as least i thought i was.

You said i was your first love.

You would spend the night with my brother, it all started when you would sneak in my room and just start kissing me and freaked me out a little bit. and then started touching me and telling me to stop and it’s okay when i told you to stop.. You would sneak in my room, i lost countless of times. No matter if you was my boyfriend or not i would lay in bed hoping you didn’t sneak in my room because I was young and felt like i was doing something bad.

Even had my 2 friends over and you still snuck in thankfully one of my friend woke up and told you to get out. I had a new boyfriend and

One night.. You snuck in and just took your pants off and tried to have sex but thankfully for me thinking straight and telling you no, i wasn’t giving up so easily so thankful you didn’t even get to take my clothes off at all.

After that, my mom knew what happened because she heard you and asked me about it the next morning and i told her. You was forbidden from coming to our house ever again, at least couldn’t stay the night anymore.

You blew up my phone, saying you was sorry. Saying i was your first love and you can never get over me But me, i was traumatized for a while and you kept on begging for forgiveness and i refused. You begged for another chance and i gave you maybe 3 more chances and stopped. You would threaten me, saying you’d kill yourself or kill everyone and stuff if i wouldn’t give you one. more. chance. I still refused and was terrified and told my mom, and you blamed me for your drinking and you smoking and getting caught. Blamed me for everything. Making me feel guilty of it. Even sent pictures of threats. And blew up my phone saying you loved me and all that I couldn’t get a break from you. You didn’t physically abuse me at all, BUT you mentally and emotionally abused me...

Because of you, i was scared to have relationships, i was scared to be around boys. I have told few people and few close friends but never the whole story.

Until I met my boyfriend, we was best friends at the start, he was my bestfriend in 7th grade all the way to 9th and became my boyfriend. I was so scared but i loved him so much, and was scared to do anything too shy. Then finally told him everything got it off my chest, you still blew up my phone and wanted to fight with my boyfriend and everything. My boyfriend confronted you and had blocked you from everything, and told you to leave me alone, he hated you so much for what you did to me. But last year you messaged me one last time asking for forgiveness, i finally gave in and said i forgive you. And now you have a girlfriend and i hope you’re treating her well and not forcing her or making her feel guilty with everything.

I’m about to be 19 next month and is now with my boyfriend for almost 4 years, he has made me feel like a whole again and helped me find myself, helped me fight through depression and anxiety. I’m so thankful for him. ❤️

To this day, i still get nervous for being by myself at a store or gas station so i would constantly text my boyfriend and he always says “You’ll be okay, i’m here”

I forgive you, and hope you are a better person than you was before..

Signed your “first love”.