Okay so I have no where else to really rant to about this so here goes.

My husband works for a big phosphate company, but he also is apart of their Emergency Response Team.

ERT traveled for a competition and since it was only a few hours away from us we were told that me and our 1 year old son could go.

Alright so during the day time they have the competition stuff at the college fire grounds, outside. The 2 days of competition it's been in the high 90s so I opted to stay at the hotel with our son and keep him out of the heat. The first night we got here they had an introductory dinner which we all 3 attended, and then the 2nd night they had a dinner but it wasn't for anything special.

So onto tonight. The part where I'm gonna rant and where I'm upset.

Tonight is the awards ceremony for the competition, the only real part of it I was interested in attending.

So the first half they talked too much and I ended up having to walk out with my son because he was getting too fussy. Then we walked back in and ate. While we are in the middle of eating, the "captain" of the team pulled my husband away. I immediately knew it had something to do with me and our son. Especially when my husband came back. I asked if everything was okay and he said yeah. I asked what he wanted and his response was we'll talk about it later. So of course I know it's because our son was loud. I finish my meal (although at this point I had lost my appetite) we step outside and I asked what was going on. Apparently some of the higher ups were complaining and saying if my son didn't quiet down and kept being too fussy that I needed to step out with him. EVERY SINGLE TIME HE HAS MADE A NOISE I GOT UP AND TOOK HIM OUT. I missed the most important part of the introductions. I've already felt like an embarrassment because I'm the only one who brought their child. Sorry I don't trust anyone with my child and we're still breastfeeding and I don't want to be away for 4 days without him. I feel like they're all looking at me with those "bless her heart" eyes and look at me like I'm young and dumb. I'm 21 and probably the youngest in the room besides my son. I just couldn't come to terms with how my son making a couple of noise was such a problem. If it was during the ceremony I get it, but we were eating dinner.

I know that in some cases a baby can be disruptive but he wasn't being bad at all.

I guess I'm so angry because I hate the company so much. My husband has worked there for 3 almost 4 years I think and my father has worked there for almost 20. So my entire childhood has revolved around this company. First with my father and now with my husband. I lost so many memories that could have been made with my father because of this company and now not only am I missing out on important parts of my husbands career, my son is too and is missing out on memories with his father.

I left the ceremony entirely for the sake of embarrassing myself, my husband, and my husbands team. I just got so upset in the heat of it all that I left crying and my husband probably feels like shit now too because I was upset. I'm just so ready to go home now. We leave tomorrow and I'm actually excited.