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I’m done! I quit! Hallelujah🙌🏻

Maggie Lynn • Sat, Sep 30 • RN to be👩🏼‍🎓 DBK ❤️ Rainbow baby baking 🌈

So this journey started July 28th.. I got a BFP! Well a SURPRISE BFP! We were not trying, actually I had just gotten off of BC (because of insurance reasons). Then we found out we were expecting! Our hearts were OVERJOYED! (After a few days of mental breakdown on my part)

Well then it happened.. all those weeks of being sick as a DOG! I lost my baby! Well it “stopped developing” so I guess they call it a missed miscarriage. Uhhh I HATE THAT WORD! Miscarriage... like who the F*** came up with that.. I didn’t mis carry. My damn baby didn’t grow 😭

*trying to keep this as light as possible so I don’t cry about it*

Anyways so then august 24th I had my D&C;!

A week later seemed like it took MONTHS to get here! (My post doctor appt)

All I could think about was I WANT TO BE PREGNANT NOW! With a healthy baby.. it was honestly an OBSESSION. But I couldn’t have sex...

So then I got cleared.. or really I didn’t but I told my hubby I did, I mean it’s my body & he said everything was fine.. so we started the dance.. against hubbys wishes that is. I remember one night I told him he could pull out if he didn’t know if he wanted a baby right now or not... AND HE PULLED OUT. Oh talk about an emotional melt down... holy shit balls. I look back & laugh but wow!

So then came, opk & pregnancy strips & preseed & peeing in a cup 3 times a day.. i was officially losing my mind.. remember this is only two weeks later.. my hubby was so confused & healing from the loss it was so awful. Luckily he hid his feelings to take care of me.. so by week three we were kind of on the same page & got the official green light from the OB.

So for about 4 1/2 weeks I peed on in a cup three times a day.. I even took the freaking cups to my job so I could pee at the “same time” everyday.. TO CHECK OVULATION!! 🙄🙄 I tested for pregnancy.. even though I wouldn’t get pregnant without ovulating && that hasn’t happened.. so really I was honestly driving myself INSANE!

Oh & not to mention sex! What is sex? You mean the job “trying to make a baby”... the thing where you’re so concerned if he came inside of you or not you haven’t even enjoyed it.. seriously don’t know the last time I had a “woman’s happy moment”...

Now, I’m 6 weeks Post - D&C; & I AM DONE! I’m done with my box of “helping you be crazy while trying to get pregnant” . Seriously not peeing in a cup until I don’t get my period... not ever doing opk again.. (well at least a couple months).

I quit! I cannot let this life control me anymore!

I see so many women on here who are 1..2..3..10 years to g to conceive & I did it without even trying.. not successfully... but damn getting pregnant isn’t my problem! Staying pregnant was! So from now on my sex life is NOT going to be a JOB!