Scared of myself.

So to be honest i really dont wanna talk about it to anyone in my family or my bf. I just been too depressed lately...i have been crying myself to sleep and even thought about harming myself tonight thats why i got scared right now. I am actually capable of doing something bad to myself. Idont know what to do. Yes i have career problems and love problems but yeah thats life right. Everyone have those. I dont know how it got to the point that led me to this exact moment.i realize i am depressed for real and not just some emotional roller coaster.