I failed today...

I failed. How? I woke up and immediately was thinking about if I had conceived this last week... I started dreaming of baby names then I remembered I had seen something about Las Vegas.. It didn't even bother me at first it was just another shooting... I literally stopped, opened up the article and made myself watch every video... I put my phone down and I prayed for their healing and their safety. I prayed for their families' strength and comfort.. Then I praised God with some of my favorite Christian songs because it wasn't me, it wasn't my loved ones.. I am still apologizing for being so self centered today.. I am so concerned about bringing a child into this world I allowed myself to forget that those people are someone's child, someones best friend, aunt/uncle, mom/dad, sister/brother... Yet all I wanted to do was dream of a child I have not even conceieved yet.. Today I failed. I failed by not caring enough and I failed because I am questioning his plan for me... I am asking him if he can give me a child when I have been praying that way for months... That isn't faith. Faith is praying for him to do something and believing it is done. It may take time but the prayer has been put into action and it may not happen the way you expect or wanted but your pray will be fulfilled.