Using the word “lost” to describe my current state of mind is the biggest understatement of the year. Ladies, this is going to be a long post so don’t read it if you don’t want to and this post is not an attention seeking post. So this man here, I called my boyfriend for 10 months. We broke up early August by default lol...

Some of you may have read my post about me being cheated on and what not. (I know it’s really not right putting his picture on here but at this point, WTH!)

We met online last October shortly after an abortion and a really bad breakup. When I met this man, it felt like it was meant to be. Our first conversation felt like we’ve known each other for YEARS. I thought he was the one. We lived in different cities and he would drive hours to spend the night together. He pulled all the right stops. We talked about a future together, talked about having kids, and buying a house, going to exotic places together. At some point I got this idea to move to Germany because I have lots of family there. Dude got mad at this idea because we wouldn’t be close 🙈. He’s originally from Vancouver, Canada and I’m in Ontario. He was working in Ontario when we met and eventually had to go work in Vancouver beginning of this year. I went to Vancouver on 2 different occasions to see him. Spent a week both times. Played housewife and did all the shit you do for your man. My first visit to Vancouver, a week I was supposed to go, he mysteriously had to come to Ontario for work (a different city from where I lived), which meant he wouldn’t be in Vancouver when I got there. I got to Vancouver Friday night and I was alone in his dingy basement apartment till Sunday night. While I was alone those 2 days, found a birthday card from his sister dated 2012 wishing him a happy 30th. When we met, told me he was 28 but when I confronted him about the card, he told me he never told me he was 28 and I assumed was his age. So poor me being all in love dropped it and went on to prepare a hot meal for my lying “king”. That same week, got him on two different occasions talking to a girl and told me that was his friend and that he had met other girls before he met me but I was the only one he was dating lol...

Let’s just say my suspicions grew after that. Fast forward to July/August. We had made plans in July he would come to Ontario the week of August 7 and spend a week together and do romantic shit. But we had a fight at the very end of July because he indirectly called me stupid and we didn’t end up talking for a week. I honestly thought we were done at that point but lover boy all of a sudden text me on August 7 to say I was ignoring him and blah blah blah. Said he just got to Ontario that weekend and he’s been staying with a coworker and he still wanted to see me. Night of August 8, my baby was by my side. Spent 6 days together and I played housewife and everything but, something seemed off. We were quickly getting irritated with each other and he was distant. Almost every morning, he will leave with his phone, claim his going for a walk and be gone for an hour or two. This man is LAZZY alright! Everything just seemed off about him. I slipped up and I saw a text from a girl referring to him as hun. Confronted him, told me I was being paranoid and no one is cheating on me. Now our last day together, I go through his phone while he’s getting himself something to eat. His phone is always locked but this it wasn’t 🤔 anyways, I go through, saw what I wanted to see and yeah. I took pictures of all the messages with my phone and WhatsApp’d them to him with the caption “just so you can stop lying...”

He comes back with his food, I’m getting ready and he’s being all sweet and shit and I’m fuming but I’m also being polite. He checks his phone and see the messages and he’s like “oh you sent me something” and I’m like yeah. He sees what it is and asked if I went through his phone and why and I told him because he’s a lying cheating bastard. Doesn’t say anything to me. Just sits on the edge of my bed eating the food I cooked and I didn’t even get a sorry. I also took down the girl’s number (there were 2 other girls but I only had time to take down one; the one he had the most conversation with), texted her to tell her we were both being cheated on. She calls me and I this point lover boy is gone. While on the phone with her, he calls her and she puts us on a 3-way. Mr. A denied ever spending 6 days with me and according to him we stopped talking months ago and we were never together. 2 hours later, I’m on the phone with the girl again after sending her my conversations with him, our pictures and what not. I found out she’s 19 and they met 3 months before he met me. Oh and when he claimed he was staying with his coworker, he was actually with this girl and her friend at Toronto Caribana. He paid for an airbnb for the three of them and paid for everything else they did. While I was making sure he wasn’t spending any money while he was with me because apparently he was broke, he was playing bank to this other girl (technically I’m the other girl). After all I revealed to her, she choose to stay with him. I guess I was expecting her to leave him 🤷🏾‍♀️

I tried calling him so many times just to get some kind of explanation; answers, anything. But never answered. All my friends were like he doesn’t deserve you and you will find someone who does and he’s a piece of shit. Deep down I know that but how do you just get over someone who walked with you through a very trying time? How do you go from talking to someone everyday, even falling asleep together on the phone till morning to BOOM strangers (dead to me)? I saw a picture of the girl (creeped her on instagram), and she’s so pretty, unlike me. I can’t tell you how much money I have spent on makeup on other things match up to that girl. Y’all wanna know how pathetic I am? I created a fake snapchat just so I can see everything this 19 year old does. I’m 23! Oh and she posted a snap that she convinced her man to buy her Fenty Beauty. And what did I get? A broken heart and feeling worthless and ugly. I never got an apology, probably never will. I try not to think about it but here I am writing a book and creeping some innocent girl who doesn’t give a shit about me. October 24 would have been our 1 year anniversary. I’m so lonely and being on here helps me forget about my sadness so I just comment on any interesting post. I’m gonna stop writing now and I really apologize for the novel.