We found out August 29th we would be parents. Waiting until September 22 to go to the doctor, to find out very unprofessionally that I might have a blighted ovum and told I'd have to have nature take its course. I Switched doctors to a different practice with an amazing doctor. Though it was confirmed I had suffered from a blighted ovum my new doctor respected my wishes, cried with me and said as long as the ultrasound confirmed it, she'd schedule me for a d and c.

I'm type a personality I like to be in control of what is going on and what happens to my body. I wanted to make the decision on what I was doing to end me babyless pregnancy. As I was supposed to be 10 weeks with no symptoms I was not going to play the waiting game. For me to have to physically experience a miscarriage and watch my baby-less sac exit my body was something I was and will never be interested in. Whether this is my only miscarriage or just my first, I will never choose to watch that happen unless it does without my knowing. And I will NEVER take medicine to start that process.

On Monday 10/3 I started to bleed, however this medium flow stopped Tuesday and I experienced spot bleeding for 2 days. The ultrasound confirmed that the sac was still having on measuring at the low ended of 6 weeks.

My doctor scheduled and performed my d and c yesterday 10/5 and while this isn't how I wanted my first pregnancy to end, I am so happy I went thru with the d and c.

While I'm experiencing some light cramping more like discomfort and some bleeding, I feel like I can finally go back to being me and getting my life back.

I want to be a mom more than anything, my husband understands that and supports that. This has been an extremely long process for us but it's finally coming to an end. We can grieve together, move on the best way we can and heal. We will always remember and carry with us our baby that never developed, but knowing we had the choice to remove the sac that caused us so much pain made us feel Ike we were taking our lives back.

I read a quote, "don't forget that your human. It's okay to melt down. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out and then re-focus on where you're headed."

For us we're going to take the 3 months my doctor suggested and figure out what our next steps are. I just got a promotion at work, his job is going well, we have a loving and supportive family, great friends, 2 beautiful amazing pups who haven't left our sides (shoutout to Charlie and Molly) and figure out where life takes us next.

We truly believe that God had a reason for this: with my grandfathers and aunt in heaven and his Grammy, we know they wouldn't have let this happen, unless there was something wrong with the embryo or to protect my body.

God will never take something away from you without the intentions of replacing it with something better. And we cannot wait to see what that something is.

Stay strong mamas going through miscarriage(s) you can do it. ❤️