Single and pregnant... again. Scared.

Hello,

I'm writing this because I am 18 weeks pregnant. Feeling the baby move and trying to get attached. I'm having such a hard time.

I am going through a very lengthy divorce, and when my soon to be ex found out I was pregnant, he got the divorce order we did have in place over-turned and relitigated everything. We have the most amazing two year old who adores us both. He's filing for full custody. I can't even breath at night at the thought of losing her. She's my entire world and we've had the same custody agreement in place for a year and now he's trying to take her.

Our marriage ended after he was very abusive for years and I just couldn't take it anymore. He now has a girlfirend and I found myself someone who I thought was great.

A month into it, boom.. I found out I'm pregnant. I thought this was awesome and a sign from god that I had FINALLY after a year of hell found not only an amazing guy, but we would now be having a baby. Not... tafter pressure from my friends turns out this guy is not only MARRIED about his wife is SIX MONTHS PREGNANT! Are you kidding me?!?!?!?.. no. No kidding here. This is real life.

I decided to keep the baby and raise her. He said he would be around when he could and help where he could. That's the second time I let this guy fool me.. just got a call today at nearly five months pregnant that he wants NOTHING to do with me or the baby and that he needs to make things work with his wife. Go it, expect it, don't care. Just makes me feel bad for the baby.

The point is, after five years of marriage .. I never expected my life to be this way. On the verge of losing the best thing of my life (my sweet baby girl) and bringing a fatherless child from an affair into the world. Can I do it? My ex has placed so much doubt in my heart and mind to the point where I've come to regret the decision to keep the baby. I knew this man was married when I decided to keep her. And justified it because I didn't know when she was conceived and I shouldn't be punishing her for our mistakes. Is there anyone else out there who can help me, give advice, or offer comfort?

I'm having such a difficult time trying to bond with this baby because I have resentment because of what it's doing to my daughter. She could loose me because I had a summer fling that resulted in a baby. I feel like if I bond with this baby I will loose My daughter And if I loose her because of this custody case she will think it's because i chose this baby over her